Way to go! We’ve stuck to the challenge for 5 days. That is over 16% of the challenge.
In the last four days, we have identified our area of focus, examined what we do that we should not be doing, reflected on what we don’t do that we know we should be doing, and identified the philosophies or ways of thought that make our actions possible. Find instructions for Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, and Day 4.
Day 5
Step 1
Today we will examine what we wrote in Day 4 and look for themes which reoccurred in our story or stories.
The main themes which I noticed as I reread what I was wrote in Day 4 are the themes of independence, being a go-getter, and responsible.
Step 2
We want to be aware of and write about when we felt like a victim.
When I first tried thinking about being a victim, I have to admit that found it hard. I didn’t think that any of these philosophies had made me feel like a victim.
After having thought about it for the day, though, I think that I feel like a victim of bad teachings and that these are lessons that no longer have their place. I learned a very specific way to look at life and I never challenged my own belief systems.
Being aware of the belief systems and articulating them makes me better able to challenge them and to notice the ways that they are not serving me.
Step 3
Finally, for today, John-Roger instructs us to “pay attention to, and describe, the judgments [we] made–and perhaps are still presently making–on yourself, others, the world, God, etc.”
One judgment I was very conscious of was impatience with myself. The awareness that the belief systems support habits and behaviors that are not serving me seems so obvious. I thought, “this is something that I should have been able to realize before today (or yesterday). Why didn’t I?”
Part of me wants to be able to judge the world and my family for not teaching better practices that were going to help me build a life in which I can say “no” to what seem like opportunities and not feel like I’m “missing out,” I can ask for help without judging myself as weak, I can put my own activities first without feeling guilty, and I can proceed without being sure of the outcome.
These judgments bring certain awareness regarding this habit of “not finishing”–that I over-committed because I did not want to “miss out” on something good, I did not proceed when I was unsure because I didn’t want to be perceived as weak, I avoided the guilt of being perceived by myself and others as “selfish.”
I’m finding these guided reflections to be very beneficial and I am gaining new understanding about my own behavior. I know that now that we have “looked back” and gained some awareness the next steps will move us forward. I am excited about tomorrow.
What has been your greatest take-away from these last five days of reflection on your chosen area? Share your experience with us in the comments below.
